Wedding Bliss-Baby Kiss

Bridesmaids and Maid of Honor Traditions

Posted on: June 27, 2009

I can remember back not so long ago, when the bride would choose and ask her closest friends or family members to become bridesmaids and the maid of honor, it used to be a joy for those girls to be part of such an amazing and glorious event. Each of the girls would be a part of assisting the bride in much of the planning and sharing ideas of what was need for the bride to have such a wonderful and memorable wedding. With that, it is so much of a relief, knowing they will be there for support. Well, here is what we have been  experiencing and seeing lately  maids of honors and bridesmaids! Being involved with recent weddings and now coordinating one for in the family, there’s a few things in ediquette from these girls I just don’t understand.  Is it this generation or is it just pure laziness!   From what we have encountered here lately , these chosen few of what you would call the maid of honor and the bridesmaids just want to be a part of the wedding to stand there and look pretty, then reap the rewards of having a free party they can attend with free drinks, eats and dancing  at the wedding reception. Beyond any of that, there’s no initiative from neither the maid of honor or any of the bridesmaids organizing or stepping up and suppoting the bride and in form or fashion . They’re not even planning the bridal shower!!! What is it with these girls today, there used to be long standing traditions from the girls, helping the bride plan her wedding. It was even traditional for the bridesmaids and maid of honor to plan and organize the bridal shower for the last celebration while she is single. From what we are seeing today, the bride is basically on her own with the exception of her parents guiding her through the planning process.  The Mom or someone close in her family is typically stepping up and doing all the planning and organizing of the bridal shower…….Hmmmmm, there’s something wrong with this picture. I think it is difficult enough for the bride focussing her attention on the details of her wedding, think about it, the bride deserve the best that she can get or have, this is something she has dreamt of since the age of 16 or younger, a fairytale wedding. She has many worries now that she is going to wed the man of her dreams so of course every detail must be in perfection. So she has to worry about where she will be getting married and by whom, which part of the season she’ll get married in which now brings in the type of wedding or the theme that she has to plan. With that in mind, now comes the wedding decorations, color scheme, planning of the wedding reception, the food or caterer, the DJ, the invitations and all the other little things like wedding favors, table centerpieces, the wedding cake and shall I go on. I had only touched the surface of the many areas of planning there is for a successful event.  After witnessing these events, it saddens me but now I can see why these brides (Some anyways) become what we call Bridezillas !! These soon to be bride are left on their own with planning and organizing their own event. No help from those she has chosen, these are the girls she could  count on to be there for the support she will need.  Now I ask, it this fair to the bride, especially when these bridesmaid and the maid of honor are ask to be part or their special day. Heck, I have even withnessed when all the dresses, including the wedding dress came in, do you think that any of the wedding party went with the bride to pick their dresses up……There’s a BIG FAT NO. They were all told the dresses were in and asked them several times to go get them together. The bride herself ended up picking,  at that point she had to. The bridal shop where she purchased them from said they don’t warehouse dresses!!!!(David’s Bridal) That’s another story in itself!!!!!! So where has the true wedding tradition gone? It’s suppose to be one of the most happiest moments for the bride and it becomes a struggle know she is virtually on her own. For all of you bridesmaids and maid of honors out there, wake up!!! Let’s not forget why you are part of this ceremony and grand celebration, it is not about you and what you are going to get for free. You will be getting married at some point and think about it, you will need help, unless you are already married, then shame on you for entertaining the lack of participation.


3 Responses to "Bridesmaids and Maid of Honor Traditions"

Yes bridesmaids and the maid of honor are really important in a wedding because they are always there for the bride. They are loyal companions that deserves great treatment.

I have a REALLY good example. My mom threw a shower for me. Now this is my family’s first go-round at a traditional wedding because I’m the ‘first born.’ I’m told, after the fact, that the wedding party should help with the gifts and what not.
So I start opening gifts, and halfway through, I noticed that 3 of my bridesmaids (the grooms sisters) are gone.
I was already with a lot of anxiety from be put on the spot with gift opening, so when called my fiance afterward I asked him why they left and he said, “They felt unwanted because you didn’t have them help you with the gifts.”
#1- How am I supposed to know this
#2- Instead of sulking and getting hufft about it, shouldn’t they have stepped in and sai, “Here, this is what we’re supposed to do, we’ll help you.
I was really hurt and ready to just cancel everything. But my fiance knows his family and stood up for ME. That is what’s most important, that he knows me enough to fight my battles for me when I’m not able to.

Hi Michelle,
I’m sorry you had such a bad experence at your bridal Shower. I can asure you that what you had experienced at your Bridal Shower is not uncomon these days. That is why I wrote the article to give todays Brides, and Bridesmaids some suggestions on basic traditional responsibilities. I would also like to say shame on the Bridesmaids for leaving and feeling sorry for them self especially when they knew what their role as a Bridesmaid is. For future Brides that may wonder it’s to the Brides honor for the Bridesmaids to sit by her side and assist in the opening of the gifts. For example the Maid of Honor should sit on the left side of the Bride to hand her the card to open that is attached to the gift. Once the Bride opens the card you can pass it to one of the bridesmaids sitting to your right to write a notation inside the card of what the gift is for your thank you cards to be sent out. the other Bridesmaids can disgard the gift wrap and and place the gifts aside. You can change sitting as you like however it’s a nice jester for all the Bridesmaids to be present. I would like to add one more comment, Kudos to your Fiancée for defending you feelings, and hopefully the Bridesmaids will offer you an apology !


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